just realized....

FORGET your personal tragedy.

We are all BITCHED from the start
and you especially have to be HURT like hell
before you can write seriously.
But when you get the damned hurt, USE IT-DON'T CHEAT with it.

those who have hurt u in d past cannot continue to hurt u UNLESS u hold on to d pain through resentment.

Your past is past!

Nothing will change it. U r only hurting yourself with ure BITTERNESS.

4 ure own sake, LEARN from it, and then LET IT GO...

-purpose driven life

God wants you to know ...

On this day of your life, Hazel, we believe God wants you to know ... that recession is also a time of great opportunity.

Time and time again success has its roots in failure, because failure knocks you down from top of the hill so you can then climb a mountain. Yes it's unsettling, yes it's scary. But this can be your greatest opportunity in life, - if you choose it. The recession has cleared the space of clutter, - think what have you always wanted to do but brushed aside from the top of your hill? Now is the time...

- yeah...why this application always applicable on my situations... :)

mistakes...

"People make mistakes.

It's given.

Now, it's up to us

what are we gonna do

with that fact.

Either we moved

FORWARD

or

PRISON

yourself to that thing

that you can't change anymore."

- from a dear friend. thank you so much :)

RIDDLES...

i was on a jeepney... going home... and then suddenly, something popped out on my mind... " who am I to judge when myself is a sinner.." sigh... i admit that i judge people... *i'm such a devil*.... but right know, honestly *and no kidding* i do not judge people a lot... i have lessen my stereotyping personality... sigh... i wonder how i learned to judge people out of nowhere, especially when you were still a kid, you were an innocent child as an angel... is it the environment sending signals or the tower absorbing them... sigh... i guess both??? *but for more blame on the tower heheheh*.... i should'nt have accepted those signals, i should have choose carefully... for we cannot blame the environment as always, when we have our own decisions.... a process that lead to a MISTAKE.... and the last question after a mistake is... what type of signals would you send out??? whatever it is, it would change the scenery.. for nothing is permanent in this world except change... hhhmmm....in the end, we all do mistakes. mistakes leads to anything. just like a chain. like this weird post starting from judging, sinners, innocence, mistakes etc etc just typed everything what pops out from my crazy little mind... i am so weird... i'm glad i still have a couple of friends :))

sigh...

i want to write

but i just don't know what to write...

how to write...

i know there is an idea

somewhere in my brain...

something that's bothering me

but i have no idea how to start...

can't sleep...

i turned off the lights and lie down in my bed. i'm going to sleep. i closed my eyes, take a breath and tried. a couple of seconds, i opened my eyes, turned on the lights, got a pen and paper and wrote up until this "Word". i literally stopped. i guess, i don't know what will i write. ah... i know why...hhhmmm.. you see this morning something came up. a warning that made my heart beat fast. i kinda scream to express what i feel. i stopped writing again... i know why i am writing... i'm writing just to continue expressing what i felt... my eyes are now almost closed. my head aches. i feel sleepy. but i cant go to sleep still.... how i wish i can go to sleep peacefully.... ahm but ALIVE... heheeh

WHY WRITE

A room as a square,
thoughts floats on air.
still on edge of despair,
own life want to spare.

question how could it be?
of course, you know how it should be.
Yet a simple step can't be,
for i still fall in flee.

Pushed away wool fold,
protects you on cold.
Why am i a fool,
well, ice snow act of woeful.

I write on express,
of emotion on depress.
Hope I'll regress
to a child, on vanished disgrace.

Downhill....

There are things we want in our lives
that does not happen according to plan.
You asked,
"WHY?"
"Why of all things ...
you just..
you just can't have what you want...
It hurts...
And you just can't do
anything to ease the pain...
Or for just a minute...
Lessen the pain...
All you can do is wait
the invisible wounds to heal.
As the time flies by...
I know...
I have to be OK...
I have to be."
And you just always say to yourself,
"I know GOD has a reason for all of these,"
the only HOPE I have.
A FAITH.

* i can still remember... i was very sad when i wrote this... it was really painful for me... i FLANKED the nursing licensure exam... the ONLY thing i asked from GOD... and He did not give it to me... i was so sad. i cried every night. for about two weeks... and sometimes i cry when i remembered it at that time...hhhmmm.. painful part is all of my friends/barkadas passed!!! i'm left!!! i'm not saying that i want them to fail just to make me feel better but, i admit, i'm jealous... and you know what... they just can't understand me when i just open up to them what i feel... that its just not easy to accept it... hhhmmm... right now... well, ready passed the exam... i'm a registered nurse...:) yet unemployed im happy still. i know i will have a job. hehe. looking back, i think i just learned not to give up... trust GOD... he will give it its just... not now.. i've become more understanding, strong and fight.... it was really a downfall for me... but when you fell... there is nowhere to go but up... you don't want to be stucked right?*

just goofing...

after i created this blog... i swear i don't know what to type... sigh...

it is already at the middle of the night... can't sleep... so i just started to goof around hehehe

(* by the way, if anyone is reading it, i am sorry for the wrong grammar... hehehe... i'm not a writer type and i did'nt practice too much of writing... you see i'm a nurse. an unemployed nurse as of now...)

back to this... well..*here i go again, i stopped to think...* well, there are too many questions running through my mind... and i actually don't know how to answer every question of it... am i crazy???... well, i supposed to know, i'm a nurse right??... of course i'm a nurse *answered my self back* guess i'm crazy :D

those questions... just sometimes pops out of nowhere.... and i don't know how can i actually asked it... and i don't know whom to asked...