can't sleep...

i turned off the lights and lie down in my bed. i'm going to sleep. i closed my eyes, take a breath and tried. a couple of seconds, i opened my eyes, turned on the lights, got a pen and paper and wrote up until this "Word". i literally stopped. i guess, i don't know what will i write. ah... i know why...hhhmmm.. you see this morning something came up. a warning that made my heart beat fast. i kinda scream to express what i feel. i stopped writing again... i know why i am writing... i'm writing just to continue expressing what i felt... my eyes are now almost closed. my head aches. i feel sleepy. but i cant go to sleep still.... how i wish i can go to sleep peacefully.... ahm but ALIVE... heheeh